Reflection 02/14/09

Oh, where do I begin? I never knew I had a learning disability until I went to marriage counseling with my husband. I was diagnosed with ADHD at the beginning of 2005. Once I was told that I suffer from the combined type of this disability, my psychologist, my husband, and I started to put the pieces together. After this, I was able to look back on my school years to see how it affected my academic and social skills.

I struggled through school with reading comprehension and writing abilities. I was a very friendly person, but I wanted to please everybody. I was eager to have people like me, so I would become annoying. My grades were okay, but I found it very hard to really focus on one thing at a time. I had a lot of energy which caused me to have problems sitting still during class. I also found it very hard to control my impulses. For instance, I would always speak out of turn, or interrupt someone, or show my frustration by snapping at someone. In 7^th and 8^th grades, I was assigned 500 word essays for talking so much in class. Once I had exhausted this punishment, I started receiving demerits. If a student got a total of 8 demerits, she was sent to ISS (In School Suspension). Luckily, I teetered between 6 and 7 demerits. When I started high school, I was able to control some of these urges, but I could not squelch them. Throughout my school years, I was constantly told that I was lazy and was never encouraged to apply for college or anything beyond high school. I worked many jobs after graduation. At every job, I learned to compensate for the lack of control I lived with. I found ways to organize things, even though no one could ever figure out the “method to my madness.” My longest job lasted four years, and these wonderful people learned to live with me. Finally, I felt accepted.

After my initial diagnosis in 2005, I went to a psychiatrist to receive medication. Let me tell you something. This gracious doctor has given me a life. He understands how my mind works, and he helps me find the right medicine and dosage that I need. If I did not have my husband and this doctor in my life, I would not be where I am today.

Because of the issues I continue to face every day in college, I am determined to provide my future students a classroom environment and teaching style for all different learners. I learn new things I can do all the time, and I want to share these skills and advice with my students. No student will leave my class feeling as if he/she did not succeed. I will not give up on my students. I know what giving up feels like, and I do not want my students to feel as if they have failed.